Happy Friday!!

I hope everyone has a great weekend!!! I'm going to entertain you with an, "About Me" facebook section that I find hilarious. This was written by one of my friends who is hands down, one of the funniest people I know. Enjoy!

Quid quid latine dictum sit, altum ... I think its ironic that girls look so hot in boy shorts... people who pass through a swinging door that is closing and dont help it stay open should be shot... anyone who answers a question with "well, honestly..." makes me doubt how honest they are... wear a belt if you are going to tuck your shirt in... I pay more attention to a professor's habits than I do the lesson... unless its on a girls head, hair grosses me out... supposevly or supposibly- i mean, seriously?!?!?! nothing good has ever come out of dallas... I believe anything is made better by doin it in the rain... I secretly want to knock girls over who drag their feet wearing flip-flops... it pisses me off when people dont erase the chalkboard or whiteboard off completely... usually I only remember the night before after talking about it the morning after getting drunk... whoever the guy was that invented free bread at restaraunts should be given an award... saying no is practically impossible for me... I'd consider marrying a really tall woman just so my kids could play something other than golf... I always miss my family but I usually get sick of them within the first 30 minutes of being around them... if I could be anyone for a day, I would seriously consider justin timberlake... silence is torture... I love random facts like "stewardesses" is the longest word you type using just your left hand... I've always wondered why girls swing their arms when they walk as if it was some kind of contest to see whose could be the most out of control... whats the deal with girls all wearing the exact same kind of running shorts now?... ive written so many essays that I now feel like I use the bigger words that are found in the thesaurus when Im talking rather than the simpler ones- and its uncomfortable... if people's windshield wipers are going too fast for the amount of rain on their window, I have to tell them to turn them down... if you haven't ridden in the back of a cop car as a result of doing something stupid, you need to live a more exciting life... to/too, who/whom, your/you're- learn to use them properly, its not brain science or rocket surgery... if I dont know you and you're a black guy, I'm going to say "what's up bro"... if you're white, its "whats up man"... I don't know why, but thats just the way it is... i feel like people like me better when I'm drunk, which is depressing... I absolutely can not WAIT for the moment I am so pissed about something that I throw all the papers and supplies off my desk... any driving offense is immediately forgiven if you throw up a kind wave... with all five fingers of course... Dant Vulnera Vitam... Im not sure if it's been said before, but I've never heard anyone else say "lets make like Bob Marley and blow this joint"- so in my mind I am the inventor... the old school eye viewer thing on digital cameras and people who use them are completely useless.

A little bit about me for your Thursday!

I AM...a girly girl

I HAVE...a great life

I WISH...my Dad was still here

I WANT...more time

I FEAR...abandonment

I HEAR...everything

I WONDER...what happens after you die

I REGRET...losing touch

I LOVE....my family

I ALWAYS...feel complicated

I USUALLY...am happy
I AM NOT...a typical girl

I SING...everything

I RARELY....argue with my sister

I NEVER...forget

I CRY...about everything

I AM NOT ALWAYS...patient

I NEED...to spend more time with friends

At least it's almost Friday!

Sad.

I try not to be a Debbie Downer, and I'm going to try my hardest not to be, but I need my moment. I'm writing tonight because I'm sad. Sometimes writing for me is easier than saying things out loud. Maybe that is something I need to deal with personally. Nonetheless, here I am. I miss my Dad so so much. I feel like there is a huge hole in my heart, and there is nothing that I can do to fix it. It hurts even more thinking about the fact that this hole in my heart, will never be repaired. Yes, with time, things will get better. However, I will never have my Dad back, and I will never get that piece of my heart fixed. I apologize to those friends who I am "neglecting" right now. I appreciate the phone calls, the voice mails, the text messages, the emails, everything. I'm just not ready to talk on the phone right now. It is hard for me to be around big groups of people, and its hard for me to fake normal. It is very common for me right now to have a conversation with someone, and then fall apart immediately after. I feel as though sometimes I struggle to even get words out of my mouth. It feels as though if I open my mouth, sobs will come pouring out, and I wont be able to stop. There are only few people that I can see right now. It is nothing personal, and I love all of my friends, I am just finding some things difficult to overcome. Please don't lose patience in me. I am getting there one day at a time. Its a daily struggle for me to focus on small tasks at hand. There are times when I can work for 30 minutes straight without thinking about my Dad, and then there are times where I stare at the computer for 30 minutes in my own little world. Every day feels dazed. I just miss him a lot.

New Beginnings...and changes

So, Its 11:46 at night and I am not in the least bit tired. I figured I havent blogged in awhile, so hopefully this will make me somewhat sleepy. August has been an emotional month for the Newman family. My Dad passed away on August 4th. He had been fighting cancer for the past 17 months. I feel like cancer somewhat prepares you for the idea of death, but I dont ever think you can be completely ready to say goodbye. We are all blessed to have had the time we were given with Dad, but it is still very hard. I feel like I struggle with my emotions on a daily basis. Some days are harder than others. I'm sure I will blog about Dad and Cancer for awhile, and I'm hoping it will assist in my healing process. People tell me on a daily basis, " I don't know how you are being so strong". The thing is, I dont really have any other option than to be strong. My Dad was strong his entire life, up until the very end. The alternative to being strong is crying every day, and I do not want to live my life like that. My Dad wouldnt want me to live my life like that. So, for now, I am strong, and I am ok. I find myself still saying, "Mom and Dad's house", or "Dad likes _____". I don't life referring to him in past tense. He is not past tense to me, as he will always be a part of my life. I'm not sure if that will ever change. I'm not sure if I ever want that to change. Anyway, thats all I can do on that topic right now.

Moving on...Les, my baby sister, moved to Temple to start her big girl job! I am oh so proud of her, and cannot wait to see her new place. This is the farthest we have ever been apart, and of course I'm a little sad about it. However, this will allow us to spend more time together when we are in the same city visiting, rather than a couple hours every now and then. I love you SISSA! BSITW!

I signed up for my first half marathon! It is the San Antonio Rock N Roll 1/2 in November. I am sooo excited and I'm really looking forward to training.

Alright, thats all for now. I will leave you with some insight of my past month. Have I mentioned that it's almost Friday!!!

This past month I have.....

Reconnected with an old friend

Seen love at it's finest

Watched Laguna beach over and over and over again

Lost my Daddy

Hated Cancer for taking my Dad

Appreciated Cancer for the way it taught my family to view life

Had cupcakes for breakfast...three times!

This past week I have...

Missed my Dad

Been productive at work

Hugged good friends

Cried

Laughed

Lived

Today I...

Felt like a grown up

Rescued my friend from downtown

Visited the 5th Ward

Looked at happy pictures of my Dad