I'm better with my written words than I am spoken, and I really want to talk to you right now. I miss you so much. As I write this, words both fail me and fuel me. I never really understood a broken heart until I lost you. To say my heart hurts is an understatement. Although I always told you I loved you, it never seemed like enough. You were the most amazing man I have ever known. Your heart was the kindest heart. You never realized what you meant to so many people, myself included. I wish that I had just 5 more minutes with you. I would give anything for 5 more minutes. If I had 5 minutes with you, I would hug you so hard and thank you for being the most amazing father I could have ever wished for. I feel cheated to have lost you so early. I'm so envious of friends who still get a Dad. I'm beginning to say, "Mom's house", and this makes me feel guilty and empty. You are still so very much alive in my heart. I put your phone number into my new phone because I cannot imagine a life without you in it. I'm trying very hard, but I am struggling. Things just are not the same without you here. It was always difficult to tell you my feelings about our relationship, because I respected you so much. "Thank you" and "I love you" never seemed applicable for how I felt about you. Thank you for teaching me to never go to bed angry. It is'nt worth it. Thank you for showing me what is meant to be loved. Thank you for believing in me, and for standing by me always. Thank you for showing me how I deserve to be treated. I miss talking to you. I cannot believe you have been gone for over four months. I still feels like it happened last week. I dont know how long this feeling is supposed to last, but I am really struggling with it. You are my hero. You're my John Galt. I want you back so bad. I often wished it was me who had the cancer. I would have taken the hurt over you. I still stand by this today. I hope you know how proud of you I am. You were so strong, and so wonderful. Thank you for 26 years Dad. I miss you and I will miss you every day for the rest of my life.
Te Amo,
Primera
