Britny and I met through different circumstances, and she has quickly become my best friend. Britny lost her Mom to metastatic breast cancer exactly five months to the day that I lost my Dad to metastatic esophageal cancer. To say this girl "gets me" would be an understatement. This girl is my Angel. Losing a parent is a feeling you do not understand until you go through it. I have lost grandparents, and although extremely sad, nothing compares to loss I feel from losing my Dad. Losing a grandparent in their 80s is a completely different story than losing a parent while you are in your twenties. My Dad will never see me pregnant, he will not be able to walk my sister down the aisle, he will not be there to spoil his grandchildren with my Mom, and he is not there for me to call after I've had a bad day. Losing a parent when you are in your twenties is a heart wrenching, sick, undescribable feeling. As girls, we look to our fathers for comfort, and to our mothers for guidance. Britny understands this feeling of walking through life with a huge hole in your heart. No matter what people say, this feeling does not go away. Things do not get better, they become different, and we learn how to deal with it. I am not "over" it and I will never be "over" it.
"You don't get over it, you just get through it. You don't get by it, because you can't get around it. It doesn't get better, it just gets different. Everyday..grief puts on a new face".
Britny has reminded me that we have more life left to live. My Dad raised us to think this way, but it is easy to forget when you hurt so much. I believe this girl was put in my life for the sole purpose of understanding my heart and providing such an amazing friendship. As friends, we balance each other out. Our "bad" days tend to fall on different days...and we are able to lift each other up when the feeling is hopeless. Some families you are born into, and others you choose along the way. Britny, I will always and forever consider you to be my sister....and I will always, always hate the 4th of every month just as much as you. I truly believe my dad and your mom are watching us and are so happy we have each other. 
In other news, I have decided to get out of my "funk". For those that know me well, you also know that I have been in a rut for the past couple of weeks. Maybe it is the weather, or the approaching year mark of Dad's death, or maybe it is just me....Nonetheless, I'm ready to live my life. I've realized that I am ok with being alone. I am a strong girl, and an even stronger woman. My ultimate happiness is determined by my own conscious efforts. I've realized that although you may want someone in your life, you do not need them there to stand on your own two feet. Life is too short and precious to just let it pass me by. I am tired of going through the motions, and I am ready to put one foot in front of the other. I miss my Dad, and others in my life terribly, but I know I am going to be ok.
Sincerely,
Bailey Ann
